Finding Recovery as a Couple
06/14/19: Addiction Recovery
When you are in active drug addiction, it can be hard to find recovery on your own, especially if you are in a relationship. In a healthy relationship, two people help and support one another, but in a relationship where both people are addicted to drugs, the relationship isn’t healthy in any way.
Most addicts tend to support one another by sourcing drugs, or the paraphernalia needed to do the drugs. They will often steal money or objects to support both of their habits. There are even times, when one member of the relationship may choose to participate in prostitution in order to get the drugs that they both crave.
Eventually, many couples reach the point saying that enough is enough and that they want to get clean. When this happens, it’s important to know what steps to take to ensure that they can both get clean in the safest way possible. Use the following tips as a guideline to follow if you and your spouse have reached a point where you want to live a sober lifestyle.
Understand Addiction Needs to be Fought Solely
When you’re in active addiction, the thought of being without the person that you have become dependent on can seem very scary and overwhelming. It’s important to know that you need to go through the detox and the rehab treatment process on your own so that you can focus on your needs.
If you go through detox with your loved one, there is a good chance that you will both end up relapsing because you will give in to the urges to use that come or because you will want to ease the pain that you are both going to be in. Withdrawal symptoms from drug use can be quite intense. Going to a treatment center allows you to get medically supervised assistance that can help to minimize the symptoms that you and the person you love both experience.
It’s best to enroll in separate campuses in order to better the chances of overall success. You will be separated from one another for a small period of time, but in the grand scheme of things, it really isn’t that long. While you are in recovery, you’ll learn more about who you are as a person and be able to learn what your specific triggers are that prompt you to want to use drugs. This is essential for your recovery and to decrease the chances of you relapsing in the future.
People Are Different When They Stop Using Drugs
It’s important to know that the person you fell in love with when you were using isn’t going to be the same person when they stop using. You aren’t going to be the same either. When you were in active addiction, you didn’t think rationally, didn’t react to situations the same way you will when you are sober and there is a good chance that you will have a different temperament about life that you did when you were using.
You and your spouse will have to get to know one another again when you recover from your addiction. You may have to spend time doing new things, but it’s important to avoid past relationships with other addicts or places that you liked to go or things you liked to do when you were using. This ensures you are able to build a solid foundation for your relationship and better the chance of sobriety in the future.
Counseling is Essential During and After Recovery
Addiction struggles don’t end once you get out of rehab. You’ll still battle many emotional struggles that need to be dealt with head-on. You need to go to individual counseling and couples counseling in order to handle these issues. It’s often a difficult transition back into the real world after addiction recovery because you start to care about things that didn’t matter in the past. You have to clean up the mess you created when you were in active addiction and there is often a lot of stress that arises. Going to counseling allows you and your spouse to learn how to talk about things and work through issues in a healthy way.
Not All Relationships Are Meant to Last
Many relationships where both parties were addicts end once the couples recover from addiction. This is because they aren’t the same people they were when they were using, or because one of the members of the relationship ends up relapsing. If you were able to recover from your drug addiction and your spouse continuously relapses, it’s not healthy for you to stay in the relationship. It will be far more likely for you to end up relapsing, as well if you surround yourself with someone who is actively using drugs.
Be understanding about the situation but set hard rules that must be met in order for you to stay in the relationship. Some people have to go to rehab many times before they are able to recover from drug addiction and sadly some never recover from addiction at all. Many people feel guilty for wanting to leave a relationship they have been in for many years, but you need to think about your future and the life that you deserve to have first. You cannot force someone to stop using drugs and when someone is in active addiction, there is no way to know what they will do or say when they are high. You have to protect yourself as much as you can.
If you and your spouse are able to make it through the turmoil and find recovery, you’ll be stronger than you ever were when you were in active addiction. You’ll know that you have seen the best and the worst of one another. Couples who have been through active addiction and recovered are often able to make it through just about any trial or tribulation that is thrown at their relationship in the future.
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